Working out with your partner can be annoying. He might hate when you tell him to "push harder," and you get mad when he thinks certain moves should be easy for you. So to find out how you can keep coed workouts fun instead of a battle of the fittest, we asked celeb personal trainer Ashley Borden, author of Your Perfect Fit, for her advice. Read on for ways to avoid common gym-time pitfalls with your S.O. and to find out how working it out together can actually improve your relationship. Get ready for a sweaty, sexy time.
Even the Playing Field
You know how you kind of just want to scream when he does more pushups than you? “Although competition during a workout works for some couples, it can be frustrating when one person is stronger or faster than the other,” says Borden. The best way to prevent resentment is to choose a workout that puts you both on the same level, she says. The first way to do that is to take a class that neither of you has done before or one you’re both not particularly good at. Borden says this allows you to progress at the same time, which helps crush that frustration. “When you learn together, no one feels like they're behind,” she says.
Another way to eliminate the competitive factor and work together with your partner in crime is to train toward a common fitness goal. For example, Borden says that if you and your S.O. are both fairly good runners, you might try following a training plan for a race together.
What about if you and your partner are at completely different fitness levels? You can totally eliminate either of your insecurities about going too fast or too slow by doing time-based interval training, says Borden. By doing as many reps as you can for an allotted amount of time, you’re both working as hard as you can without have to go at the same pace or even count your reps.
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Be a Cheerleader, Not a Coach
The best way to figure out what kind of encouragement annoys the crap out of your partner is to ask, says Borden. She recommends having a conversation about the ways you both like to be motivation. For example, maybe he would rather have you tell him how great he’s doing than yell at him to “give it everything you’ve got.” It’s also possible that he doesn’t want any pep-squad action at all, she says. Whatever the case, let his preference be your guide.
If he doesn’t mind a little verbal support, make sure you sound like his number one fan and not his trainer, says Borden. “Whatever you do, don't correct them during the work out,” she says. “You never want to tell them that what they're doing is bad or wrong.”
No matter what your partner’s encouragement style during the workout, it’s always nice to throw some post-workout compliments his way, says Borden. Just be sure you’re using phrases based on his fitness progress instead of his looks, she says—otherwise he might worry that you didn’t think he was all that strong-looking to begin with (which you know is not true at all).
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Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
While getting your gym on together is totally a bonding experience, you can amp up the relationship-building power of your sweat sessions by rewarding yourselves for keeping up the hard work. Borden suggests coming up with a mutual prize for sticking with your routine. Whether it’s a couples’ massage or a weekend away, you’ll strengthen your bond by working as a team to earn a reward that you’ll enjoy together.
Oh, and bonus: Exercising together can make your sexcapades even hotter, says Borden. “When you see your partner train hard and do something healthy for their body, that’s a turn on no matter what,” she says. “Plus, working out together creates more closeness—and when you feel more unified, you'll feel more attracted to each other.” Sounds like a sweet deal!
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