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Miyerkules, Mayo 27, 2015

How My Marriage Changed When My Husband Became a Stay-at-Home Dad

“The last three years have been incredibly rewarding for all of us.”

We never planned for Dylan to be a stay-at-home dad.

During our early years as “mom” and “dad,” I worked part-time, splitting my days working as a social worker and researcher and taking care of our two boys, Ashland, now 7, and Wiles, now 9. Still, my job required much more than the 20 hours per week you’d expect of a part-time job, making tasks like driving the kids to doctors' appointments and packing lunches a strain.

Meanwhile, Dylan worked as a creative director at a company in New York City, a two-hour commute from our home in Beacon, New York. He spent four hours every day on the train—and that was after the long days he already put in at the office. Traveling so much for work was constant.

There was a lot of fighting—both internally and between the two of us. We were tired, overworked, and unhappy.

We were both working—and incredibly hard—but we weren’t working together.
Then, three years ago, when our sons were 6 and 4, Dylan was laid off from work. Luckily, at the same time, my company was expanding, and I was able to segue into a new leadership role with more responsibilities and hours. So we decided Dylan would stay home with the boys and I would work full-time.

We had a lot of mixed feelings about the change. On the one hand, change is always hard. I was sad to give up more time with the boys, and even with my bigger paycheck, we knew we would still be taking in less money each month than we had been with both of us working outside of the house. On the other hand, it gave Dylan a pretty awesome opportunity to spend more time and deepen his relationship with the boys. Neither of us grew up with a full-time father in our lives, so we really valued the fact that Dylan would have this time with our children. Plus, what woman wouldn’t be excited to have her hubby do all of the housework for a change?

But at first, the pendulum swung a bit too far. Instead of the new setup relieving strain, our roles simply reversed. We still existed like ships passing—I just left for work before anyone was awake and came home after everyone was in bed. I'm extremely passionate about my work, so it’s been empowering for me to dedicate herself to it and advance my career—but the boys missed me.

Meanwhile, it was harder than I thought it would be to let go of a lot of my previous parenting responsibilities.
Dylan and I have much different parenting styles—as is true with virtually any couple.

We realized that things had to change—again. So we would have more time together as a family, I adjusted my schedule so that I could work from home a couple days per week, which really helped out. Dylan started taking on a freelance work here and there to help out with the bills. He now does most of the household and child stuff during the week, and I pitch in on the home front during the weekends. It’s made us really work together as a team, rather than simply dividing and conquering.

To be honest, I've been a lot happier not having to manage work with worrying about soccer uniforms. It’s relieved a lot of my stress, and in turn, that’s made both of us happier. Happy wife, happy life, right? Plus, Dylan has really gotten into the stay-at-home thing. He takes ownership in everything he does and is incredibly systematic about organizing and running the household.

He's taken charge of the house, and as far as I'm concerned, that’s incredibly sexy.
For better or for worse, our lives are about to make another big change. Dylan is in the process of trying to find a full-time job. We wish we could get by on one paycheck alone, but, unfortunately, that’s just not our reality. We’ve recently had to move the boys to a new school because of our too-tight budget. Even though, to Dylan, staying home with the boys has been more rewarding than any office job, it’s clear that we need two incomes.

Ideally, Dylan’s new job will give him some flexibility so he can still stay at home with the boys. Or if the paycheck is big enough, maybe I will be able to pull back a bit from work. Parenthood is always a juggling game. You do what you need to do.

Luckily, the last three years that Dylan has stayed at home with the boys have been incredibly rewarding for all of us. He has become closer to our boys, and in many ways, we have become closer and stronger as a couple. We’re not sure what the future holds, and Dylan’s already upset about the idea of not being around for the kids as much. Whatever job he ends up taking, he says that being a stay-at-home dad was the best job he could have ever asked for.

Why Gwyneth Paltrow Won't Let Her Son Eat Pasta

"I don't know how that got construed to I don't feed my kids carbs."

For the most recent issue of Women's Health, cover star Gwyeth Paltrow got candid about how she stays in such amazing shape and about her relationships.

She also set the record straight about how she's raising her two children: Apple, 11, and Moses, 9 (their father is ex-husband, Chris Martin). Because maybe you heard? Gwyneth doesn't allow her children to eat spaghetti. Or utter the words high-fructose corn syrup. And they're allotted only 2.5 hours of joy every week. We're being hyperbolic.

"Honestly, the things that people have gotten wrong about me in 20-whatever years!" she says. "I've been misquoted a lot around food. The reason I wrote my last cookbook [It's All Good] with no overt allergens in it was because of my son's eczema. He should eat gluten-free, based on his allergy tests. I don't know how that got construed to I don't feed my kids carbs."

Yes, it's—gasp!—true that she wants her kids to eat well...which makes her different from exactly no other mother in the world. She stocks a pretty standard kitchen. "I try to have whole foods, organic when possible. And a lot of vegetables—my daughter is vegetarian, so a lot of our meals are plant-based."

For more on Gwyneth's diet, beauty routine, and what keeps her grounded, pick up the June 2015 issue of Women's Health, on newsstands now.

Martes, Mayo 26, 2015

How to Know If He's Lying to You About Cheating

Polygraph and body-language experts reveal the six signs his story's not legit.

You’ve got a feeling your significant other is up to no good. But even if your intuition is right, changes are he’s not going to answer your prompts with, “Yes, dear, I am cheating on you.” So short of hooking him up to a lie-detector test or sticking him with truth serum, how can you know if he’s lying to you? Polygraph examiner and former FBI agent Jack Trimarco and body-language pro Lillian Glass, Ph.D., author of The Body Language of Liars, share the six “tells” he’s lying through his teeth.

1. He Suddenly Acts Differently
Lie-detector tests are all about measuring changes from the norm, be that in terms of heart rate, breathing, or blood pressure. Likewise, when you’re investigating your guy’s possible misdeeds, any changes from his normal behavior point to dishonesty, says Trimarco. For example, if you ask where he was Friday night and he suddenly starts scratching his nose, clearing his throat, and breathing heavily, something’s amiss, says Glass.

RELATED: 10 Weird Facts About Cheating

2. He Overcompensates
Guys know that looking down is a telltale sign of lying. So when they lie, they typically make a point to look you in the eye, says Trimarco. Problem/good thing is, they typically overcompensate and go too far the other way. If he creepily stares you down (no blinking!) when he tells you, “No, I haven’t slept with anyone else,” he might as well be staring at his shoes, says Glass.

3. He Answers Your Question with a Question
You: “Are you cheating on me?” Him: “Am I cheating on you?... of course not!” Answering your question with a question buys him time to think of something believable to respond with, says Trimarco. He might be doing it consciously or unconsciously, but either way, what he says next is probably going to be a lie.

4. He Turns the Tables on You
“When people are guilty, they tend to turn the accusations around to whoever made it,” says Trimarco. He might say you’re putting past relationship baggage on him, that you’re paranoid, or that you're probably cheating on him. “When he feels caught, he will want to take the heat off of himself and put you on the defense,” says Glass.

5. His Story Keeps Changing
“The truth is constant, clear, and easy to remember. Lies, however, tend to change,” says Trimarco. If you start to notice changes in his story, or if, when you ask him what he did at his friend’s bachelor party, his answer is different than it was before, something’s up.

6. He Swears on His Mother’s Grave
“Innocent people don’t swear on the grave of their mother,” says Trimarco. “If he does, that’s a huge red flag.” The truth is strong enough to stand on its own, so if he’s trying to prove his case with things that have nothing to do with the subject at hand (momma’s grave, unborn children, and God), he likely knows his defense is paper-thin.

The 5 Healthiest Green Juices You Can Buy, According to a Nutritionist

The best options when you feel like drinking your veggies

Store-bought juices can be a great way to squeeze in some extra produce between meals. But they can also be a great way to take in a ton of sugar and calories along with little to no fiber. To make sure the juices you’re downing are of the former camp, we chatted with nutritionist and diet coach Alexandra Caspero, R.D., owner of Delicious Knowledge. Here are her picks of the healthiest grab-n-go juices money can buy.

Jamba Juice

Jamba Juice: Great Greens
“Whenever I look for a juice, I look straight the greens,” says Caspero. “The more greens, the better.” This smoothie (opt for a small) contains three servings of veggies—including cucumber, kale, and spinach—along with half a serving of fruit to guarantee you’re taking in the most phytonutrients and the lowest amount of sugar possible, she says. Plus, it also contains three grams of protein and two grams of fiber—way more than many juices. Thank you, chia seeds.

Starbucks

Starbucks: Green Devotion Evolution Juices
With the lowest amount of sugar—just eight grams in an 11-ounce bottle—this is the clear winner of all of the cold-pressed Evolution Juices lining Starbucks’ counter, says Caspero. It’s also packed with greens, including celery, cucumber, spinach, romaine lettuce, and kale, and is finished with lemon and parsley, providing tons of potassium and vitamin K.

Juice Press

Juice Press: South of the Border
“This juice is like a meal in a glass,” says Caspero. “It feels more like a creamy, cold gazpacho than a juice.” A combination of cucumber, onion, bell pepper, and avocado, it contains a generous helping of protein, fiber, and monounsaturated fats. Don’t live in the NYC area? Juice Press ships nationwide.

Tropical Smoothie

Tropical Smoothie Café: Detox Island Green
Okay, it’s not technically a juice, but it’s a perfect pick if you're craving greens, says Caspero. “This smoothie contains only 182 calories in a whopping 24-ounce serving and is packed with healthy greens, like spinach and kale,” she says. Plus, since it’s naturally sweetened with (not too much!) mango, pineapple, banana, and ginger, you won’t find any added sugar floating in this smoothie.

Naked

Coffee Shops, Convenience Stores, and Cafés: Green Machine Naked Juice
You’ll be hard-pressed not to walk past a Naked Juice display at some point during your day, making them one of the most popular packaged juices out there. While they all contain a lot of fruit, this one also packs spirulina, barley grass, broccoli, spinach, blue green algae, and other veggie boosters, making it a solid option wherever you go, says Caspero.

7 Women Explain What It's Like to Have a Guy with Facial Hair Go Down on You

Oh, the beard-burn struggle

There's something about facial hair that can push a man from "eh, he's cute" territory into the "someone call 911 because there's a fire in my pants" arena. The only, well, hairy aspect arises when a he goes down on you. As you'll see from the following quotes, sometimes facial hair can introduce you to a whole new world of pleasure—or pain.

"My current boyfriend shaves every day for work, but on his off days he lets it grow. While giving me head, the stubbles prickle my clitoris and increase sensation, which makes me release a little bit quicker. It was so foreign the first time that I screamed, but now can't have it any other way." —Danielle J.

"My boyfriend has gone through phases of beard or no beard, although I'm thinking the beard will stick around for a long time now. I honestly don't know if I can tell a difference. Maybe a little, but just kind of what you'd expect. There's a little more scratching and tickling, but if he's doing it right, the beard doesn't matter." —Beth D.

A photo posted by Richard Hertz (@el_jefe_blanco) on Nov 30, 2014 at 5:26pm PST

"My boyfriend right now has something in between scruff and a beard at all times. I've noticed when he lets it grow a little longer that I feel it a little more down there, and it can be a little scratchy. Most times, he trims before we hang out, though. However, he has pretty awesome technique where, when I'm about to come, he starts doing this tongue flicking thing that feels more like a vibrator than anything. At that point, the beard is far enough away I don't feel it all, besides the occasional tickle." —Sarah L.

"I have dated men with different types of facial hair—mustache, beard, scruff—and I would say the person and their skill level determined more of my experience than the existence of facial hair did. However, facial hair enhanced it by providing an added sensation to the overall experience. It built up anticipation and foreplay, but I wouldn't say it made it easier to orgasm because that is more dependent for me on actual stimulation and pressure than the feeling of stubble rubbing against me. Too heavy of a beard can negatively affect the experience because it hurts down there! I would also say I am characteristically way more attracted to men with facial hair than not, and physical attraction has always made a big difference for me in feeling comfortable with a partner sexually and allowing me to relax and enjoy the experience of going down on me more. So I guess there's a psychological and a physical component to why bearded men do it better for me. I talked to my boyfriend about this, and he thinks bearded men do it better because there must be a 'high correlation between facial hair, athletic ability, and cunnilingus skills.' Ha!" —Kaitlyn T.

A photo posted by Calypso (@dirgeofcalypso) on Feb 24, 2015 at 10:47am PST

"My boyfriend has always has somewhat of a beard, but the first time ever was when he had a pretty full beard. Not like Rick Ross or James Harden level, but a solid beard that can be grabbed onto and stroked, for lack of a better word. In terms of how that affects sexual experiences, I say it enhances it! It tickles, to be honest, but there's something so sexy about a guy who isn't afraid to just own it down there and who loves incorporating a beard into it. He was very proud of his beard—and his skills—and incorporated his beard into dirty talking, which I swear is such a turn on. He even buries himself, face and beard, in my entire lap. It's less of beard-on-clitoris and more of just all over everything. He's into rubbing his beard all over me in general. Beards just add another texture for your thighs to rub on to and for you to bury yourself in." —Viv C.

"I honestly don't notice any difference in the moment when a guy has facial hair, but I think that it makes his face retain a certain odor, if you know what I mean. I feel a bit embarrassed and worried that someone might smell it." —Jules C.

"My boyfriend is a hairy dude. When he has a full beard, it doesn't affect him going down on me. But if he shaves one morning, the next few days can get painful if we're not careful. His hair is so sharp as it grows in that, one time, I had to put my hands on either sides of his face as he went at it because it felt like sandpaper wearing away at my skin. Another time, I was a little too inebriated to notice, I guess, and the next morning I had a rash. Later that day, when we were walking around, I kept ducking out of sight on the street so I could subtly apply lotion. It was not fun." —Kimberly W.

Gwyneth Paltrow on Love Post-Conscious Uncoupling

"A long-term relationship serves as a meditation on what's wrong with you."

Gwyneth Paltrow has it all: a highly successful acting career, her own popular wellness brand (Goop), two beautiful children, a seriously killer bod. One thing she's very open about not having, though? All of the answers when it comes to love. Just take a look at what she had to say in her exclusive interview with Women's Health for this month's issue:

"If I'm in a relationship at this point in my life, it's got to be a relationship worth sustaining, you know what I mean? I don't have the time or inclination." (At press time, she was rumored to be dating Glee cocreator Brad Falchuk.)

The actress is respectfully quiet on the subject of her former marriage to Chris Martin (she reportedly filed for divorce in April). But true to character, she has lessons she wants to share with anyone who is interested. "A long-term relationship serves as a meditation on what's wrong with you. You will never be in another situation that will tell you more about where you need to grow than a long-term relationship," she says. "It's a mirror. We pick the people who are going to trigger us so that we have an opportunity to heal. It's about having the courage to turn inward. The devil's biggest weapon is to make you feel like a victim, because then you don't see your part in it."

RELATED: What is Conscious Uncoupling?

Gwyneth recalls when a friend divorced a bunch of years ago. "She sent around one of those e-mails—'Men come and go, but you always have your sisters.' And at the time I was like, 'Men come and go? That's not right.' But of course now I understand."

Pals are clearly paramount to Gwyneth, and when your stomping ground is a red carpet, regular civilian friendships take on even greater importance. "My female friendships have always been the cornerstones of my life," she says. It's her core group of buds that help see her through tough times, but not by placating her, and certainly not by kissing her (very taut) ass. "They challenge me and ask tough questions," she says. "They aren't just like, 'Yeah, what an asshole [he was].' They'll say, 'Well, what about you?' It makes a big difference."

For more about what keeps Gwyneth grounded, pick up the June 2015 issue of Women's Health, on newsstands today.

Lunes, Mayo 25, 2015

8 Men Share the Most Over-the-Top Things They've Ever Done in the Name of Love

A love-fueled scavenger hunt is just the beginning.

Way back in 2006, I had a crush. Like any self-respecting high school senior, I knew that there was no other course of action than to express this crush in a semi-public way that would be embarrassing not only to myself, but also to my crush.

This girl was the second-best triple-jumper in the state, so right before the Maryland state high school track and field championships, I stole my best friend’s dartboard and pasted on a heavily-pixelated picture of Crush’s rival, the other contender for triple-jump state champion. I left it in her locker and waited for the outpouring of gratitude she was sure to shower me with upon receiving her gift.

But it never came. As it turns out, planting what looks like a slasher film prop in someone’s locker is not a cool way to show you’re into them.

While 2006 Julian went too crazy, plenty of guys have toed the line between “crazy in love” and “just plain crazy” to show a girl that they care. Here are some of their stories.

“My girlfriend has two roommates who also have boyfriends. I coordinated with the other boyfriends on a night we could all sleep over at their place to cook them breakfast in the morning as a surprise. It took us over a month to make that happen, but after a heavy night of all going out separately, we woke up at 6:30 to pick up groceries and cook breakfast. My girlfriend’s face when she woke up was very much worth the early wake up.” —Adrian D.

“I was dating a girl who liked The Bachelor and found out the finale was coming up, so I bought her a single red rose and some of her favorite candy and left it on her doorstep so she would have it there when she got home from work.” —Nick E.

“For a Valentine's Day, I set-up a scavenger hunt for a girlfriend that spanned all across her school, to a park, and ended at a reservoir where we had a picnic. My friend lived by her school, so I had him plant most of the clues.” —Jordan C.

“My girlfriend had a really traumatic event happen while I was on vacation. When I got back in town, I took a day off of work and cleaned her apartment—like, deep clean, mopped, scrubbed the tub—and filled it with flowers. I left right before I knew she would get home so she could find it all herself, then showed up a half hour later with pizza for dinner." —Tom E.

“To ask my high school crush to prom, I used hundreds of red cups to write “PROM?” in the tennis court fence right before our P.E. class. It worked.” —Steven P.

“I really wanted to impress this girl, so I took her to the movies. But instead of buying two tickets like a rational human being, I bought out the whole theater so it was just her and myself. In the end, it didn't work out that well. The movie was The English Patient, which kind of killed the mood.” —Henry V.

“I woke up my girlfriend at 4 a.m. and surprised her with a hike up Georgia’s Stone Mountain to watch the sunrise.” —Mike B.