It’s pretty hard to miss the fact that Father’s Day is this Sunday. When you watch TV, go online, or do anything, really, you’re going to hear about it.
While it’s awesome to celebrate dads, there are plenty of families who don’t have one. So…what should you do if you’re a single mom?
Clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D., author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life says it’s important to not ignore the day. “Children cannot help but be impacted by the hype around Father’s Day,” he says. “At the very least, it will cause them to pause and think about their history and identity.”
RELATED: Dads Gushing Over Their Daughters Will Make Your Heart Explode
But how you approach the day depends a little on your situation. Here’s what he recommends, based on different scenarios:
You don’t need to sugarcoat the facts, says Mayer: If their dad isn’t a good father (or even not a good person), then it’s okay to be truthful about it.
“I recommend acknowledging that your child has a father and use Father’s Day as a great opportunity to talk about him in an honest, fact-based way,” he says. This is the time to ask if they have any questions about their dad and what he’s up to these days—if you know—as well as how they feel about him.
“I would do this even if they never have contact with their father or don’t know their father,” says Mayer.
He recommends doing a Father’s Day dinner out at a restaurant or at home and approaching things with a positive, teaching spirit. Otherwise, your kids will be able to pick up the negativity, and it may cause them to create a picture of their dad in their head that isn't accurate.
RELATED: 10 Heart-Melting Quotes About Fatherhood from Hot Celeb Dads
If you have a decent relationship with your ex, use the day to celebrate his contribution to your kid’s life and celebrate who he is. So if your kid(s) will be with their dad on the day, that means helping to pick out a gift in advance and prepping the little ones for the celebration.
No doubt you’re mature about the whole thing, but it’s worth keeping on the back burner: The fact that your relationship didn’t work out probably doesn’t take away from how he is as your kid’s father. “Keep your feelings about your relationship separate from who he is as a father,” says Mayer.
If your ex wants the kids for the day, look at it as a chance to take a breather and do something for you.
RELATED: 20 Dad-Texts That Will Make Your Inner 13-Year-Old Say OMG, SMH, and LMFAO
If your partner is no longer alive, Father’s Day can be a painful reminder of his absence for kids—and for you. While it may be difficult, Mayer says you should try to look at the day as a celebration of how great of a dad he was. (But if he wasn’t a great dad, don’t paint him as saint now that he’s gone, says Mayer.)
“Make Father’s Day a day of remembrance,” says Mayer. “Keep it positive and a celebration of his life.” Try having a special meal on the day that features his favorite foods, and take turns sharing your favorite memories.
Walang komento:
Mag-post ng isang Komento